Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Ahoy me hearties! Sorry…that was lame. But anyways…talk like a pirate day already passed, but I don’t care. I drew this cartoon of a pirate for the cartoon blog, so you’re going to see it. I do like talk like a pirate day though I never really see anyone participate…which is a shame. Does anyone actually go around talking like a pirate on talk like a pirate day? Anyone? Arrrr there any other days where you can over use the letter “R” so much? I don’t think so. I just hate to see opportunities like this pass so from now on I vow to celebrate talk like a pirate day and I hope you’ll join me. If you don’t…this pirate illustration guy thing will find you…and do terrible things…like not let you go back to Neverland.

Take care now bye bye then.

Mad Scientists

I’ve always wanted to be a mad scientist, but I’ve never really wanted to be evil. I’ve always associated mad scientists with their forever doomed to fail attempts to make weapons of mass destruction. Like a ray gun that turns all cows into chickens, forcing the hamburger business to go bankrupt costing billions of dollars and lost jobs, or a bubble-inator that encapsulates people in indestructible bubbles? I don’t know what mad scientists are doing…don’t judge me. But I realized mad scientists doesn’t necessarily need to be evil scientists…I’m sure there are mad scientists out there trying to make weapons of helpfulness…things that save cats from trees or potions that make happy little butterflies or something. Mad scientists just have a bad rep…that’s all I’m saying. Don’t stereotype them until you get to know them.

Take care now bye bye then

Fantasy Football

Cartoon Blog Fantasy Football

So Football season starts tomorrow and everyone is finishing up with their fantasy football drafts. I’ve finished drafting for all 19 of my leagues and I’m pretty much ready to go. In case you’re unaware, Fantasy football has become kind of a big deal these days, but there are still a few people out there that don’t quite understand what it’s all about…so allow me to explain. Fantasy football is where you draft fantasy characters, receive the stats for those players, and assign those stats point values, and then trash talk the other teams whether your team is good or not. For example, I drafted Darth Vader as my QB with my first round pick and I get points for every touchdown he scores and every Jedi he kills. I was also able to get Bigfoot, a baboonicorn, a wizard and 2 trollololols. Looking pretty good if I do say so myself :] Hopefully this informational post by the cartoon blog has helped you grasp the concept of fantasy football. You’re welcome.

Take care now bye bye then.

The First Unicorn

Cartoon Blog - Baboonicorn

So among the many things that fascinate my mind and occupy the space I’m supposed to use to learn new and important things, is who made up the unicorn and why? Where did it come from? Supposedly Chinese Emperor Fu Hsi saw the first unicorn 5,000 years ago and supposedly it came to him to give him the secrets of written language. So the fact that you can read this cartoon blog is all thanks to a unicorn…just fyi…don’t be hatin on unicorns.

Anyways…lets just assume he made up a horse or deer like creature with a horn on it’s head…maybe someone had a little too much opium that day…who knows, but why not make it something awesome? Like a tigercorn or a sharkicorn or a slothicorn??? ok…maybe not a slothicorn, and they’d all still be called unicorns I guess, but you get the point.

Look…all I’m trying to say is that for future references, if you make up a mythical creature, at least make it awesome…like Baboonicorn. Kthx.

Take care now bye bye then.

Bears Bluff

Bears Bluff

If you’re here at the cartoon blog, you’ve probably heard of Winnie the Pooh, Yogi the Bear, and maybe even that fuzzy Fozzie bear thing from the muppets. All fun, happy bears…but it turns out, the real ones can eat your face off and don’t just eat honey, steal picnic baskets or make bad jokes. So after finding out that cartoons and puppet shows lied to us about the true nature of the our furry friends, obviously people want to know how to not die if they come across one…which makes sense. How to survive a bear attack…basically. Everyone’s heard the play dead, and stand there and make yourself look big ones…But…what you may not know is bears will bluff charge you. If this occurs, you’re supposed to stand tall and not move…just wait for it to back down, but if you can stand there with a massive bear charging at you…you’re a braver being than I. The scary thing is that if you do run, it’ll just keep going and eat you anyways and how do you know it’s a bluff in the first place? When your head is inside it’s mouth then it’s probably not a bluff? That’s terrible, but there’s an even bigger issue here. If a bear is willing to bluff on something like whether or not he’s going to eat you…what would he be willing to do in a game of poker? So moral of the story…never ever ever play a bear in a game of poker. You won’t know if he’s bluffing…

Take care now bye bye then.

Shark Week

Shark Week

It’s shark week at Do not feed the Cartoon.com too..so It’s time to commemorate Discovery Channel’s infamous Shark Week. What better way to celebrate shark week on the cartoon blog with a shark fact that may or may not be made up. I’m not going to do the research to determine whether or not it’s true…but it is. Maybe.

Apparently you’re statistically more likely to get bitten by a human than a shark. I think stats like this are supposed to make one feel better about sharks, but in reality, it just makes me question humans and I’m still afraid of sharks so….fail. Now not only do you have to look out for sharks, but watch out for little Timmy there…just chillin in the ocean with his little floaties…just waiting to get a little taste. On the other side, how many sharks have been bitten by human’s each year?? Where’s that stat? If people are willing to bite their own, just imagine how many human bites sharks have to deal with. It’s probably an epidemic. I don’t know why I haven’t bitten a shark yet to be quite honest. It’s on my to do list.
Just be careful out there. Watch out for sharks, but most importantly, watch out for people. And pray for those unfortunate sharks that come across a hungry human. People bite too. Brought to you by Shark Week…but not really.
Take care now bye bye then.

The Cartoon Blog Logo

LogoSo every cartoon blog needs an awesome logo that captures the essence of the blog. This doesn’t really do it…but I like it so it’s the logo. It’s actually a really funny story about how this logo came about. You see………ok, I got nothing. No overly embellished stories, no cosmic reasons, not even a poorly formed lie for you. I was going to somehow involve sea turtles, a monk from Texas, and a riding lawnmower but I just don’t have it in me today. However I did just eat this taffy stuff that tastes like peanut butter and it’s freaking delicious so do with that what you will. So I hope you like the cartoon blog logo. A happy brown, furry, big eyed….cartoon thingy being fed a healthy diet of cookies (which is really cartoon’s favorite meal…don’t let bugs bunny fool you with those carrots).

Take care now bye bye then.

Cartoon Blog!

My Face

I started a cartoon blog! So as you can hopefully see, I am officially blogging now, or logging…it may be a silent b, i don’t know. Well I’m not officially blogging. If I’m still doing this in a few months or so, then I’ll say I am officially blogging. But as for now there are alot of questions that are raised by this single post, but the most striking one has to be why? Why am i doing this? Who is that really goofy looking guy? Why am I smiling like that, and does that even look like me? Why is the sky blue? Who was the first person to make up a unicorn? And why did he do that? All questions that ultimately stem from this single post. Unfortunately the only answer I can come up with is just because, and that will have to do for now. My plan is to do one of these a week, and maybe we’ll find the answers to those questions, and maybe we won’t(we being the me and that other person who is reading this)so we’ll see how that goes. So I officially welcome you to the Do Not Feed the Cartoon – A Cartoon Blog…blog

Take care now bye bye then.